Pastry Chef Turned Hostage by Hamas Reflects on Terror and Transformation
Ilana Gritzewsky, who was once recognized as a pastry chef, has not baked a cake in almost a year. This significant shift in her life was brought about by her harrowing experience of being held as a hostage by Hamas. Gritzewsky reflects on the terror attacks of October 7 which still linger vividly in her memory, recalling the 55-day ordeal she endured in the Hamas' notorious tunnels beneath the Gaza Strip, which resulted in profound personal changes.
“Baking, my profession, is something I don't do anymore. I just can't bring myself to handle it at present,” Gritzewsky opened up. The former chef was taken captive from kibbutz Nir Oz, a small southwestern Israeli community approximately 2 miles from the cordoned-off border with Gaza. The guilt of surviving the ordeal weighs heavily on her, as her boyfriend, Matan Zangauker, 24, continues to languish in captivity, being among the approximate 100 hostages who are yet to be freed from Gaza. Despite reports suggesting that a third of these hostages may have already succumbed, her guilt remains.
Despite her release in late November, in exchange for Palestinian prisoners, Gritzewsky continues to grapple with a sense of undeserving freedom. She wrestles with her conscience, questioning why she can enjoy the comforts of life, and engage with her loved ones, whilst others still remain captive.
Gritzewsky speaks on how her mother's necklace, given to her shortly before the Hamas attacks – where approximately 1,200 individuals lost their lives and about 250 were held hostage according to Israel - served as a beacon of strength during her darkest times. Meanwhile, Gaza Strip's health officials have raised concerns over the over 41,000 fatalities since the Israeli military operation began in the region.
The traumatic hostage experience has left an indelible imprint on not only Gritzewsky but countless others taken captive during the brutal Hamas attack, such as Agam Goldstein-Almog, 18, who was captured along with her mother, Chen, and her brothers. The attack claimed the lives of her father, Nadav Goldstein, 48, and off-duty soldier sister, Yam Goldstein-Almog, 20, in their Kfar Aza home safe room by Hamas assailants.
Moran Stela Yanai had a moment of tranquility witnessing a beautiful sunrise after an overnight music fest in southern Israel’s Negev region, unaware that she would soon be one of the captured hostages. Unbeknownst to her, a call for help had aided her captors in her capture and begun her harrowing 54-day hostage experience.
Others such as jewelry designer Aviva Siegel, also released in the hostage-prisoner exchange, shares the sentiment of longing for her husband's return from captivity. Former hostages continue to battle their personal tortures, vowing to keep hope alive for the return of their captive associates. Despite freedom, the mental scars remain, accompanied by a unanimous plea for a reunion of all hostages taken.